How to Get Support at School

Collaborating with the school team to help your child thrive!

With special thanks to Dr. Jaclyn Halpern, Licensed Psychologist, and Breea Marie Rosas, School Psychologist, for their collaboration on this resource.

Whether your child was assessed by the school district or in an outside clinic, getting the right supports in place at school can be challenging. 

Many parents report they feel powerless.  One family told me:

It’s like trying to order food in a restaurant with no menu.  They keep asking you what you want, but won’t tell you what’s available.

The truth is, working with your school’s team is less about knowing “what’s on the menu” and more about getting back there in the kitchen:

Your child’s plan should be a collaboration with the team, with parents being a “key ingredient” to creating a personalized recipe to support your child.  

To help you advocate for what your child needs in collaboration with – not in conflict with – the school team, you’ll find the following below:

  • An email template for requesting a school meeting
  • Resources to understand different levels of support
  • A handout to help you prepare for your meeting

How to Request a School Meeting

Getting into the “kitchen”

After your child is assessed, the first step to getting school services is meeting with the school team.  This is likely to include:

  • Your child’s teacher
  • An administrator (e.g., the principal)
  • Someone with expertise in different types of learners (e.g., school psychologist, learning specialist, or intervention teacher)

If your child was assessed by the school for special education, the team will contact you to schedule a meeting.

If your child was assessed by an outside clinic, you will need to reach out to the principal, school psychologist or counselor, or your child’s teacher to request a meeting.  This may sound something like this:

Dear Ms. Smith, 

 

My child recently completed an evaluation with Dr. Klipp and we’d love to share what we learned with the school.  What are the next steps to set up a meeting? 

It is often helpful to share the report with the school, though I recommend sharing it with the counselor, learning specialist, or school psychologist. These staff members are most likely to be able to interpret the report and will keep it confidential. If you’re not sure, you can add to the template above:

Before we meet, I’d like to share the report with the school.  Who is the best person to share this with?

Your first meeting with the school may be a general meeting so that the school can learn more about your child’s profile and make a recommendation for the best type of support.

Understanding Levels of Support

The school’s “ingredients”

Many parents are told that they should “get an IEP” for their child.  However, there are many ways schools (in the US) support students, each with their own benefits.  

Here are some of the different ways your school may offer to support your child, or the “ingredients” the school has to work with.  Each is linked to an article if you’d like to learn more. 

Your child’s support plan may include any one – or a combination of all – of these.

Note: If your child attends a private school, there are likely similar levels of support, but they may use different terms.

Based on what you learned from your child’s assessment, the school team will make a recommendation for what level of support will be the best fit.  

If your child’s assessor made a recommendation for a 504 Plan or Special Education/IEP, you may wish to include this in your request for a meeting.  For example:

Dr. Klipp recommended a 504 Plan for Alex based on the findings.  Is there a specific staff member we should invite to talk more about this recommendation?

If your child was tested in a private clinic or hospital, it’s important to note that even if your evaluator recommends Special Education or an IEP, the school will likely need to do their own assessment to determine if this level of support is needed.

If you’re not sure why the school team is recommending a specific level of support, you might ask:

  1. How will this level of support help with my child’s challenges?
  2. Why is this type of support the best choice for my child, and not a higher or lower level of support?
  3. What are pros and cons of this level of support?

In general, schools will try to keep kids in the “least restrictive environment,” or as close to general education (“the regularly scheduled program”) as possible.  This protects your child from being inappropriately placed in a classroom or program that isolates or restricts them from opportunities to thrive academically and socially.

In fact, I’ve worked in many schools where the quality of intervention within General Education (e.g., RTI or MTSS) was actually better for many students than the intervention within Special Education.

It may be helpful to remember:

A higher level of intervention is not necessarily better if it’s not a better fit for your child.

That said, if your child does need a higher level of support, this added intervention can help them feel more successful – and happier – at school because they will be getting what works best for their brain.

How to Prepare for the Meeting

Your “ingredients”

While every meeting may be a little different, there are common components to almost all school meetings.  Here are the “key ingredients” that will help the team create the best support plan for your child: 

  • Strengths and interests your child has
  • Challenges or concerns for your child’s progress at school
  • Goals for what they hope your child will achieve or learn
  • Strategies, tools, or interventions that will help your child achieve those goals

 If your child was assessed by the school, different members of the team will offer this information based on their assessments of your child.  

If your child was assessed by an outside clinic, I recommend asking your child’s assessor to attend the meeting with you, so that they can share this information with the school team.  

While the assessors and educators will have a lot to say, your input is critical!

You know your child best, and your insights are “key ingredients” to creating a plan and getting services that are truly personalized for your child.

However, most parents find it’s challenging to come up with this information in the moment – afterall, you’re talking about your concerns and fears for the person you love most in this world!

It helps to be prepared.

The following worksheet will help you prepare for the conversation by collecting these “key ingredients” before you step into the kitchen.  Read below for how to use it.

Available in English and Chinese

1. Your Child’s Strengths

Most school meetings start by talking about your child’s strengths.  This information not only starts the meeting off on a positive note, but can actually be incredibly helpful for:

  • Creating a plan that not only helps with challenges, but grows your child’s talents
  • Engaging your child in learning
  • Supporting self-esteem

For example, if a child is a great friend, they may learn best when partnered with others.  If they enjoy being in charge, we might support their self-esteem by giving them a leadership role at recess.  If they are passionate about skateboarding, we can work on reading skills by choosing books related to their passion. 

Before the meeting, write your child’s strengths and interests on the worksheet.  

At the meeting, make a note of how the plan will incorporate these strengths and interests to support your child.

2. Your Concerns & Questions

Your concerns as a parent or caregiver are one of the most important ingredients to the plan. While the school will have concerns, your know your child best. 

Your concerns may fall into any of the following categories:

  • Academic (e.g., reading, writing, math)
  • Social (e.g., making friends, solving conflicts)
  • Emotional (e.g., managing big feelings or outbursts)
  • Behavioral (e.g., attention, following rules, fighting)

While the school plan will focus on difficulties at school, it will be helpful to share what is happening at home as well.

For example, if your child is doing well during the day but having meltdowns at home, they may be working harder during the day than we realize.  Lessening the load at school can help with the meltdowns at home.

Before the meeting, make a list of your concerns and questions. 

At the meeting, make a note of how your concerns are addressed in the plan.

If you’re unsure, it may be helpful to ask:

    • Is there a way we can help my child with _______?
    • I’m concerned about _____. Is there something in the plan that talks about this?
    • If the school can’t address this concern, how have families solved this problem in the past?

    3. What helps? Supports, Services & Strategies

    Your child’s plan will include a list of strategies and tools to help your child learn and be at their best at school.  

    These may be in the form of one or more of the following:

    • IEP Goals: a specific skill your child will learn
    • Specialized Services or Interventions: working with a specialist 
    • Accommodations: things teachers can do differently, or a tool that helps your child participate and learn in the classroom (e.g. 1-1 check-ins, access to a computer, taking a break when needed)
    • General supports: help available to all students, including general education counseling services or a program such as “junior coaches” to build leadership skills

    Before the meeting, write down anything that has been helpful for your child already.  This may be something that a teacher has done, a program they participate in at school, or something that you do at home.

    At the meeting, write down the supports your child will receive.  

    Sometimes it is not possible to include everything in an IEP or 504 Plan.  In this case, you can ask:

    • Something helpful at home is ____.  Is there a way to do something similar at school?
    • If we can’t do ____, what’s another way to help my child?

      While there is no “menu” of supports for a child, it can be helpful to know what others have done for children with similar needs to your own.  Check out Understood.org for some helpful ideas, or ask your local parent community what worked for their children.

      4. Ongoing Communication

      While most school teams meet yearly, you don’t have to wait a year before reaching out with questions.

      At the meeting, write down the contact information for those working with your child.  It may be helpful to ask:

      • How will I know that our plan is working?  Who should I talk to if it is not?
      • Whom should I contact if I have additional questions or concerns?
      • When is our next meeting?  What should I do if I want to meet before then?

      5. One last thing…

      While everyone on your child’s school team is there to support your child, it can sometimes feel like the meeting is mostly about checking boxes on a form.  To help, many parents find it helpful to write down the most important thing they want the team to know or remember about their child.

      This may be something like:

      • My child is always doing their best, even if “best” looks different on different days.
      • What’s most important to me is that my child likes coming to school every day.  
      • We think a lot about the langauge we use to help my child understand his differences and I want to keep in touch about how we’re talking to him about what he needs.

      Above all else, your voice as a parent is a critical component of creating a plan that truly serves your child.  I hope this article is helpful to you in collaborating with your school team to get your child what they need to thrive!

       

      Feel free to reach out with any questions using the link below.