Managing Screen Time- Part 1

A while back I worked with a middle schooler named Jana.  Jana loved screen time. She said it was calming and relaxing after a long day.

Jana’s parents loathed screen time.  No matter how many reminders they gave her, Jana would refuse to get off, screaming and hiding herself in her room.  For them, it was the opposite of calming and relaxing.

Unfortunately, many of the families I work with have a similar story about managing screens.

If you are the parent of a neurodivergent child, you already know that your child’s relationship with screens is complicated. 

How do we keep that relationship healthy and helpful?

Keeping your child’s unique brain in mind, this series will outline a few things I’ve found helpful for managing screen time with neurodivergent kids, including understanding why the attachment to screens is so strong and how to teach kids the skills to press the pause button when needed.

Screens are Different for Neurodivergent Brains

Most kids enjoy screens, but neurodivergent kids like Jana tend to have a particularly strong relationship to their devices.

Why?

It turns out, the online world can have many benefits for different kinds of minds.

Here are a few things I’ve learned from the kids I work with:

Screen Time = Downtime

Neurodivergent kids are working harder than others all day long.  Many come home exhausted.  Screens are a way to “press pause” on the world for a while. 

Screen Time = Predictable Time

Neurodivergent kids often find the world confusing and unpredictable.  They may be overwhelmed by language, sensory information, demands on attention, and having to process things quickly.  The online world is more predictable, and it gives them more control. 

Screen Time = Social Time

Many neurodivergent kids find it easier or more enjoyable to socialize online.  There are fewer distractions, more time to process what others say, and often more structure to the interactions (such as in the context of a game.)

Screen Time = Learning Time

Videos are an incredible learning tool for many different kinds of minds.  Many of the children I work with report pure joy from learning new things in a way that speaks to the way their brain processes information.

Screen Time = Empowered Time

In the real world, neurodivergent kids often feel they “can’t.”  In the online world, they can.  In the game world, there are clear goals and the “ding ding!” of accomplishment when we meet them. 

Put simply, this feels good.

Given how important downtime, predictability, socializing, learning, and feeling powerful are to kids, it makes sense why neurodivergent brains would be drawn to their devices!

What You Can Do Tonight

Step 1 to helping your child manage their screen time is understanding what connects them to their screens in the first place.

To this end, it may be helpful to start with a few simple questions:

• What is your favorite way to spend your screen time?

• Do you connect with any of these ways that some kids find screens helpful:

  • For downtime?

  • Having something predictable?

  • Socializing with friends?

  • Learning new things?

  • Feeling powerful and in control?

  • Something else?

As you discover your child’s unique connection with the digital world, your child is also reflecting on what makes their devices helpful to them so they can use them intentionally.

Instead of just focusing on limiting screen time, you are helping your child develop a healthy relationship with technology.

In the next post, we’ll explore how to take the next step – to teach kids the skills to press pause on their devices when needed.

Stay tuned!

Understanding Your Child’s Brain

Managing challenges like screen time starts with helping your child understand their brain and what it needs to thrive.

If you’d like help having these conversations with your child, check out Our Brains.

This interactive, collaborative book helps parents engage their kids in an empowering conversation about what makes their brain unique.

Through vivid illustrations and embedded videos, kids learn about their highways and construction zones, as well as ways to advocate for what their brains need to thrive!

Click the link below to check it out!